A Speech by Robert Greene


"When I began to work on this book, I very quickly encountered a problem. The problem was that unlike with my first work on Power, in which there were hundreds of excellent books that I could draw upon as sort of primary source material, with seduction there was virtually nothing. You could count on one hand the number of interesting books written on the subject. And so I realized rather early on that I was basically on my own, that I would have to formulate my own ideas and theories on the subject. And so I decided to devise a method. The method was that I would make a grand sweep through history. I would read biographies and memoirs of the greatest seducers and seductresses in history. And I would read accounts of great political seductions. And perhaps in this way the ideas and theories that I needed would come to me. And so I started this rather painstaking process of research. And soon enough certain themes began to emerge; although each of these seductions that I was reading about were quite different, I noticed the same pattern repeating over and over.

"And then, one day, I believed I had made a startling discovery, I had an epiphany of sorts: I believe I had discovered the essence of all seductions, the seed from which they spring, the mechanism in our brain that clicks and makes us vulnerable to seduction, the same mechanism that clicked with Eve in the garden of Eden, and with the American public with John F. Kennedy. So tonight, I want to share with you that discovery, talk to you about it, because I believe that once you understand this essence of seduction, you will suddenly understand why you yourself have been seduced by someone or something, and how you can turn that dynamic around and become a brilliant seducer. But in order to explain this discovery I have to backtrack a few thousand years, and digress a little, so please bear with me.

"Now, there are many things that differentiate us from the animal world, but for me one of the most significant differences is in the area of mating and reproduction. As you know, in the animal world, the female goes into heat at very distinct times of the year. And during this period the male and female of that species experience, undergo a kind of madness. They no longer concern themselves with getting food, hunting, or defending themselves. They become moody and violent. They engage in mating rituals that can actually be quite dangerous. And then, fortunately the female goes out of heat, this madness vanishes, and with it all desire or interest in sex, and the male and female return to their habits and routines. I say fortunately because if this period went on for much longer the animal would find it difficult to survive.

"Now, as we all know, this is very different with humans. The female does not go into heat. And this has rather profound and drama consequences for us. What this means is that unlike with animals, for humans there is no division between sex and daily life, no period in the year, not even in the day, in which we are temporarily free from these desires. Instead, we are continually bombarded with sexual impulses, and these impulses and desires in humans are particularly strong, distracting and disruptive. Now, it may be hard for us to grasp this nowadays because we, or most of us at least, are civilized people, who early in childhood learned to control our natural drives, repress dangerous impulses. But for our primitive ancestors, this biological peculiarity of ours, namely that the female does not go into heat, presented a definite problem: how can you keep together any kind of group, tribe or clan, if there was anything like rampant promiscuity within your tribe? If the individual members of your group were constantly experiencing these sexual impulses and acting upon them, stirring up all kinds of antagonisms and conflicts and rivalries? In other words, if the madness that animals experience for only a few days in the years, were being experience day in and day out by the members of your tribe?

"Well, fortunately for us, our primitive ancestors, over thousands of years, evolved a kind of solution to this dilemma. They created limits to human behavior, what we now call taboos. The first and primary taboo was that of incest: between a parent and a child, and then between a brother and a sister. Soon this was extended to the immediate relations, and then to the entire clan to which one belonged. And this expanded further and further, became more complicated until a point was reached in which a young man, for instance, could only have sexual relations with an extremely limited number of young girls within the tribe. And then, centuries later, came the institution of marriage and with it the taboo on adultery, thereby creating the ultimate restriction on sexual behavior, limiting you to one partner.

"Now, all of this occurred over thousands of years and was unconscious on our part, but its purpose was clear. By creating this intricate network of sexual taboos, human sexual energy, which is so violent and disruptive, could be channeled into other activities—hunting, agriculture, the arts of civilization. If you could not dare have any sexual relations with 99% of the people you came in contact with, you quickly learned to repress these potent desires and sublimate this energy. This invention should not be underestimated in terms of what it means for humanity. The ability to say no, no you cannot do this or do that, to set limits to human behavior, is the source of our civilization, our laws, our ability to create order, our rationality. But with this remarkable invention came an unwanted consequence. As soon as people were told no, told that this person or that thing was taboo, a curiosity would stir inside the human brain. We would find ourselves perversely drawn to precisely what had been prohibited us.

"The great early 20th century anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski lived with and studied the primitive cultures that still existed on the Trobriand Islands in the South Pacific. Now, no community had stricter taboos on brother sister incest than the Trobriand Islanders. Past a certain age in childhood, a young girl, for instance, could never dare talk to her brother, could not even look him in the eye, and the same applied to the brother in regard to his sister. Now Malinowski lived there many years and the longer he was there the more he began to notice some rather peculiar things about the Islanders. He found out that many, if not all of the islanders, had intense dreams in which they had incestuous relations with their brother or sister. He found out that the theme of incest dominated their myths and folklore, to the point of being an obsession. And ultimately, he discovered that were there numerous cases of actual incest, some among prominent members of the tribe, and these crimes of incest became celebrated stories, passed from generation to generation.

"Now how can one account for this rather peculiar phenomenon: the taboo on incest was designed to make the members of the tribe restrain their violent sexual desires, and yet it had the paradoxical effect of heightening the interest in the tabooed person. Well, I believe much of this comes from the mystery element inherent in any taboo. A young man, for instance, was kept strictly apart from his sister. Suddenly his imagination would go to work. There must be something incredible about this girl, for her to be kept apart from me. She must possess some remarkable qualities. The young man would envelop her in fantasies, become enchanted with the image he had created in his mind. If he could see his sister day in and day out, as we do in our culture, he would have never developed such fantasies. But mystery has a profound psychological effect on our imagination. A strict limit was placed before him—you will not desire this prohibited sister, and yet his thoughts would gravitate to her like steel filings to a magnet.

"This, in my opinion, is the origin of seduction, a psychological weakness of ours that goes back to our earliest ancestors and is deeply embedded in our psyches even as we are today. The origin of the word seduction is from the Latin “to lead astray.” But to “lead astray” implies that there is a straight path from which one is lead astray. Well this straight path is what our culture tries to make us follow—work, responsibility, obeying rules and laws. But our thoughts are easily lead astray, irresistibly drawn to things that are forbidden. This is my discovery: the essence of all seductions, the seed from which they spring is our uncontrollable curiosity for what is forbidden, a secret taste for the shadow side of civilization.

"This idea of seduction is expressed in many elemental and famous myths in cultures around the world. It is clearly indicated in the story of Eve in the Garden of Eden and the forbidden fruit. It is also expressed in my favorite myth of seduction, that of the Sirens of ancient Greece. The Sirens were these half–women, half–bird creatures who perched themselves on the cliffs of islands, and with their sweet, overwhelmingly beautiful song that is described in Homer as pure liquid, they enticed sailors to jump from their ships and join them. Now, these sailors are supposed to follow that straight path I was talking about—row their oars, not look to the sides, be responsible and manly, do their job. But secretly these sailors yearned to throw it all away, and once they heard the alluring song of the siren, they could not resist the temptation of joining them, jumping into the sea and drowning. And we read in Homer’s Odyssey that the rocks around the island are piled high with the bones of dead sailors. Now, the Siren over the years has come to represent something rather definite to us. It represents the image of the woman who has such a devastatingly powerful effect over men, who radiates such intense sexual magnetism, that no man can resist her. He will in fact drop everything—war, his career, politics, manly responsibilities, wife and child—to chase the Siren, and quite frequently he pays for this with his life or at least his sanity. And in my book I examine real–life Sirens in history, from the greatest of them all, Cleopatra, who had such a devastating effect on Caesar and Marc Antony, to Marilyn Monroe, who in some ways spelled the ruin of Joe Dimaggio and Arthur Miller, who could not write a play for years after his marriage to her. In any event, I believe the Siren of myths or of legend clearly express this essence of seduction. The siren song is the lure of the forbidden.

"Now, you might say, Robert, your discovery is very interesting, and in fact it might actually be true to some extent, but what does it have to do with us? We live in an era that is much different from the world of the primitive ancestors you are speaking of; we live in a completely permissive environment. Everything has changed. There are very few restrictions on sexual behavior, and nothing is really taboo anymore. If your definition is correct then, that seduction has to do with the lure of the forbidden and taboo, then it would seem that seduction is really quite passé and the seducer a relic from the 18th century, something out of Dangerous Liaisons. Well, not only do I believe that that is not the case, I believe that is actually quite the opposite. That never before in the history of mankind will you find a society where its members are more prone to seduction, more ripe for the picking, more vulnerable to the siren song, than that of modern America. Let me explain what I mean.

"I think you would agree that life has become faster and faster and that the speed of modern life has effected us in many ways. We are all asked to work longer and longer hours. There is more paperwork to fill out, more little tasks to complete. We are consumed with thoughts about paying bills, schedules for the week, phone calls and emails to return. There is a continual feeling in us of being harried and preoccupied, never quite at rest. Now, we may look and feel modern, but inside we are still primitive creatures, subject to the same relentless sexual impulses that plagued our ancestors. All of this work and responsibility is yet another form of taboo, a way to regulate people, channel that dangerous and violent sexual energy of ours into something productive. We do not find in this culture rampant promiscuity, as we might have found in other periods, such as the floating world of 18th century Japan or the Third Empire of 19th century France. And we do not find many people devoting their lives to pleasure and play, as we found in aristocratic courts in the past. We are burdened with guilt about such things—this remains a Protestant culture, with a very strong Protestant work ethic. Look at how many reacted to the sexual escapades of President Clinton.

"On a social level, there remains a lot of pressure to conform. There are all kinds of taboos or limits when it comes to political correctness, or appropriate behavior. We all have extremely overdeveloped consciences. Every choice in our life is scrutinized in political terms—buying this or saying that or doing this, what are its implications, what will people think of me if they see me ordering a steak, or if I wear an unusually bright shirt, or if I express a particularly outrageous opinion. I call this in my book the new prudery, the equivalent of sexual prudery in ages gone by. And so when you add all of this up, I believe that many of us feel restricted and oppressed. Our minds constantly wander past these limits. We secretly yearn for some adventure, for some reprieve from responsibility, a chance to play, to engage our energy in something besides work. We yearn for more pleasure. We knew it in childhood, and that makes adulthood that much more difficult. The child in us is constantly threatening to break through.

"And so we are seduced day in and day out by advertisements that promise a break from these restrictions, by politicians who rally us around some cause and a chance to get emotional, and by any person who crosses our path who offers some pleasure or the promise of adventure. And so that is why I say that never before in the history of mankind have there been so many people inwardly begging to be seduced, lead astray, taken away from the restrictions of daily life. Whenever you see someone who makes a point of being a stern moralizer, of judging other people’s behavior, of showing how much they respect certain limits, you can be sure that underneath they are secretly intrigued by everything they rail against. The preacher, the Gary Condit type is the one most easily seduced. The reason is that the harder a person tries to tamp down the lure of the forbidden, to repress it, the more insidiously this desire worms its way into the heart. It becomes a constant temptation, and as Oscar Wilde said, the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. And so, even those who seem most invulnerable to seduction, most disgusted by it, are actually the ones who want it the most.

"Now, as explained in my first book, it is my belief that power is the most elemental human need. We cannot stand feelings of powerlessness or inferiority or having no control over events; almost all of our actions are a striving after power, although this might be expressed in unconscious or negative ways. The problem is that in the modern world, if you seem too obvious, if you are too manipulative, too forceful, too imperious with your power, people will hate you and their resentment of your power or ambition will create a backlash—they will work against you, sabotage you, limit your power. With seduction, however, there is rarely any backlash or resentment. The seducer is a person who in some ways attracts transgressive thoughts, gives us pleasure, leads us on an adventure, injects some drama in our drab lives. We do not resent their power because they have given us something positive that we cannot get on our own. And so that is why I call seduction the ultimate form of power, particularly in these delicate times. There is really no defense against an expert seducer.

"Now my book is a manual on how to manufacture and use the transgressive, the taboo, the naughty elements hidden in our culture—in other words how to seduce to great effect without being caught. For instance, I instruct you on how to create pain and anxiety in people, playing upon secret masochistic desires; how to regress people, bring them back to their golden childhood, a wonder world of play and pleasure, a kind of repressed desire to return to the state of immaturity; how to use androgyny, and play upon people’s secret desires to break out the constrictions of their social or gender roles; how to insinuate naughty temptations with offhand comments, and little ploys; on and on and on. In other words, I arm you with the knowledge to go out there and be brilliant seducers. But none of this knowledge will mean anything to you, unless you are able to shift perspective. Your tendency will be to read my book and still imagine that seduction is something that happens to other people, something among film stars, or in romance novels, or randy presidents or anyone but yourself. The truth is that every human encounter has a sexual undertone, every interaction is a potential seduction. And so, I want to finish tonight by talking about a particular seducer in the book who illustrates this idea, and one of my favorite characters in the book, Benjamin Disraeli.

"Now Benjamin Disraeli lived during the Victorian period in England and he was quite a peculiar man. He was a Jew, with dark skin and very semitic features—in other words, he looked very unEnglish. Disraeli was a confirmed dandy. He dressed in colorful, flamboyant clothes, followed all of the bizarre dandy fashions. He also wrote novels, flowery pieces of fiction that were the equivalent of his everyday dandy style and which were quite brilliant. And, on top of it all, Disraeli was not a very handsome man. And so, in Victorian England, it would be hard to imagine a more unlikely seducer. And yet, Benjamin Disraeli had an irresistible effect on ladies. There was his infamous wit, his indulgent, tolerant character, his unflappable calmness. Then, there was his power of conversation. He would seem to listen to you with his whole body, understanding your moods, reflecting your ideas. One princess who fell under his spell, wrote about Disraeli and his arch nemesis, William Gladstone: “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.” He was a charmer, and if you read his diaries you know that this was all a conscious effort on his part. This charming power over women allowed this strange–looking Jew to obtain a solid place in polite English society, dominated at the time by women.

"Soon he transferred these powers to politics, winning over voters with his eloquence, wit and confident air. Once in Parliament he proceeded to charm his colleagues, becoming one of the most popular members, and eventually being elected head of the Tory, or conservative party. And then, in 1871, a man who was by all appearances an outsider was elected Prime Minister of England—one of the most remarkable political feats of all time. As Prime Minister, Disraeli had to have constant, if not daily contact with Queen Victoria. Now two more unlikely people could not be imagined. The Queen was stubborn, dour, insecure, prudish, the polar opposite of Disraeli. Now, a normal man in such a situation would struggle to tone down his flamboyant qualities, which would certainly rub Queen Victoria the wrong way. But Disraeli did the opposite—he actually raised his charm levels. He brazenly flirted with the Queen, sent her parliamentary notes that were more like love letters, called her pet names, sent her flowers, thoughtful gifts, adoring letters. In other words, he treated her like a woman he was courting. Was the Queen repulsed, terrified, embarrassed? No, like everyone else she fell under shis spell, only deeper than anyone else. The Queen quite simply fell in love. He not only made her feel like a desirable woman, but also a great and confident leader. She became his most ardent supporter, the bulwark of his power, eventually making him the Earl of Beaconsfield, a member of the peerage, the culmination of all his dreams.

"Now the story of Disraeli illustrates two things: first, it might appear that his charming manner was what drew women to him, but that is the superficial way of looking at things. In fact, nobody represented more of a transgression than Disraeli, with his dark skin, his colorful clothes, his androgynous attitudes, his flirtatious style. Some envious men even compared him to Satan himself. And it was this naughty, transgressive nature that secretly appealed to these repressed and oppressed ladies of English society. Outwardly he seemed the perfect English gentleman, and so you could trust your reputation with him. But that undercurrent of the dark side was noticeable and irresistibly appealing. And Disraeli was well aware of the nature of this attraction, and played it up, in small ways, just enough to make you feel like you were getting a naughty thrill just by being near him. Second, and more important, Disraeli applied his seductive powers to every encounter in his life. No moment was to be wasted. He applied seduction to sex, to polite society, to politics, to conversation. And in an era as filled with taboos as our own, he rose to the top despite all that was against him. And that is the kind of power that I believe anyone can have who understands the essence of seduction that I laid out tonight, and who learns to apply it to daily life. Thank you and god bless."